Posts from the ‘Front Porch Musings’ category

The Road Home: Green edition.


The Road Home.

It is several days until the official start of Summer, but here in Montana it looks like Spring – the green hay, grasses, trees are still the bright green of Spring versus the mature green of early Summer.

Time.

I am very aware of time. I am aware of how I spend it and of the limited commodity that it is. For almost 26 years I have worked as an independent consultant, paid by the hour. No one sets how many hours I work but me. I have been fortunate to mostly have had the luxury of working as much as I’d care to.

Through the Winter and into Spring as Karl’s condition waxed and waned I had to let go my fierce hold on time and just be there with him at his pace. There was a day when I consciously said to myself, “just let go of the need to control the schedule and just be…the only time that matters is time with he and Bob”.

A funny thing happened when I gave up that tight hold. Everything that needed to be done still got done. I kept my work committments AND made enough money. I ate and obtained supplies.

But, I was sometimes spending what seemed like hours, in the woods with Karl, on slower walks…on more walks. Most days were “normal” until early April but there were times that were not. It is hard to remember exactly now and I don’t want to try. What I do remember is the joy of just being with him and watching him smell the scent on the breeze, roll in the snow, play with a stick, look at me and smile.

I saved those moments. Some are on this blog, some are in my mind and memory. It was an idyllic time of intense awareness.

And now. Everything is different. Bear is here. He is a joy with a happy and generous spirit despite everything being very different for him, too. Bob, Bear and I – we are all adjusting to a new routine, a new schedule, a new way of doing everything. It is both good and challenging, but ultimately, it is “us” – the fambly* Summers – bright with the new growth of a new season: maturing as we grow together.

The Road Home: Green edition.

*fambly…from the Pogo comic strip.

Evening light

This week has had its challenges.

In the overall scheme of things, nothing earth shattering. But for me, for my life, some tough moments. That is the rub isn’t it… In each of our lives there is “stuff”. For each of us, our own stuff is what contributes to how we treat others, how we react and how we interpret everything that happens in our day(s).

My schedule is extra full – my work schedule, my Bear and Bob schedule, my Karl schedule… emotionally, spiritually, physically – I am pushing my personal envelope.

Then, tonight…the light. 8:30 p.m. An hour before sunset.

The light hit the trees, the woods, the mountains. Perspective changed. The light changed and it made me aware of how beautiful everything in my life is.

Evening light.

Soon!

After a week of days that seemed extra dry – humidity-wise as well as precipitation-wise – this morning dawned a bit gray and damp. No rain, but it felt like it could rain.

I joined Bob outside to peruse the grass and grounds.

…and to check on the rhubarb!

Soon!

Detent is riding the slow boat…

Hopefully, accord will be reached….Soon!

After looking at the rhubarb, I went to check on the lilacs…

Soon!

Is it Wednesday already???

So…yesterday had a lot going on. Fred and his helper and 2 of Fred’s dogs and 1 of his helper’s dogs, showed up as promised at 9:30 a.m. to work in the woods. Fred was here late last Summer and did a lot of cleanup and firewood splitting and stacking. When I called him for this round, I let him know he could bring his dogs…in fact I kind of pleaded with him to bring his dogs.

Two of the chores were in close proximity: a nice larch that was too crowded where it stood, but great firewood for Winter 2012-13 was marked to come down and the slash pile right next to it needed to be burned.

Fred felled the larch right onto the slash pile making in quite convenient as he limbed the larch…

After the larch was limbed and cut to lengths…and the lengths moved away, the slash pile was lit. The dogs supervised and/or just had fun.

I LOVED that the dogs were here. They were all happy, happy, joy, joy and it was good for me to just be able to love them.

And I loved that Fred and his helper were here to burn that humongous slash pile. They hosed down the nearby trees and kept an eye on the first big flames, controlling them so that there was no heat damage to those close trees – excellent !

When the fire needed less of their attention, they turned to splitting and stacking…

And the larch plus a bit of a tree from last year are staged to dry for future.

This morning, the slash pile was just a pile of smoldering ash. It will smolder, sputter, flame a bit and repeat for 10-14 days probably. I like this part as I can go out in the early morning or late evening and sit and watch and listen to the fire.

And then…today, Wednesday, I needed to run to town and stopped for a few items. Tomatoes were on my list. I saw these that were labeled Heirloom tomatoes. They look funny and interesting and so I bought some. And I wasn’t really paying attention to the price…until I got home and looked at my receipt… $3.98 per pound …total for 2 tomatoes was $8.98. I REALLY hope these are good… Anybody have any suggestions about what I should do with tomotoes that cost $4.49 each ???

Meanwhile, it is 72F…on the front porch.

Progress

Bob decided he needed to supervise this afternoon…

Not really necessary as this week, this is where I’ve been.

It has been a better week for both Bob and I. I am not sure we really have a routine for 2 yet, but as I’ve been able to concentrate, to work, to cook, to walk and do the things I both need to do and enjoy, Bob has seemed more himself as well.

And then there were some other extraneous errands and chores that needed attending to. And I delegated one particularly yucky one of those to a professional, took a morning to take care of the others and then got back to living.

Progress.