Birthday dinner…pizza with pesto, roma tomatoes, kalmata olives and provolone…washed down with a cherry-basil soda – happy day!!

Pesto was made with walnuts as in an odd burst of frugality, I won’t spend $9.00 for a small bag of pine nuts :)!

The day was gorgeous with blue sky, a few white clouds, temperatures pleasantly in the 60’s until afternoon when it topped out at 74. My knee is better, my back has been giving me fits so I DID have a birthday nap complete with heating pad…which made me feel that I really was/am 56!

An evening walk, an early night and a bit of Julia Child’s “My life in France” with Bob on the bed and Bear through the gate in the living room. A wonderful birthday: 2011.

One of the things that keeps me blogging is the diary-like nature of recording events, thoughts, weather and so the ability to go back and see what I was doing, what the weather was like and “What was I thinking ???”. I cringe at some of the writing and some of the photos AND some of the thoughts, but mostly, it is helpful to see progress.

A little over a week ago, Ree Drummond, on her The Pioneer Woman Blog posted Then and Now: Pots de Creme on the progress of her own food photography.

The last sentence of her post was: “I’m nowhere near where I want to be. But I’m a lot closer than I’d be if I hadn’t kept going.”

That sentence says so much to me…not just about photography, but about any venture in life. And one more thing -you have to make a start.

I was reading comments, several others commented on that sentence, but it was tj’s (Tammy) comment that caught my eye:

tj On Wednesday, July 27
…This post almost made me cry, and it wasn’t because it was about you or Helene or how far you’ve both come in food photography, it was that last sentence:

“I’m nowhere near where I want to be. But I’m a lot closer than I’d be if I hadn’t kept going.” … Wow.

…I just returned from feeding a friend’s farm animals while they are on vacation and on the drive back home I was negative talking to myself about this journey I am just beginning in an effort to help to try and save our old barn from an almost certain demise. I was more or less calling myself a ‘big dummy’ for even thinking I could do this, for even thinking that I could sell my coleslaw dressing and even try to make a go of this. I got home, [..] checked on my fav’ blogs and this post popped up, I was reading along and I thought to myself, “Wow, Ree has gotten better at food photography” and “Who’da thought that what was once awesome photography has now become awesomer”.

And then I got to that last sentence and it hit me square in the heart and the head… All I can say is, “thank you Ree” for posting this today. Thank you.

I replied to tj in comments:

Ann from Montana On Friday, July 29
tj, YES, the JOURNEY!!! You hit the nail on the head IMHO! Yes, we have a destination or a hoped for destination, but every moment of the journey is a blessed moment as well with things to be learned and enjoyed.
I just came up against this myself – entirely different situation, but the commonality is that I may or may not reach my destination…or my destination may look a whole lot different than what I originally thought it would. Once I turned my perspective around to “the journey”, the frustration and negativity left – mostly…I sometimes have to have a good talk with myself.

I followed tj’s comment link to her blog and read in more detail what she was working on.

I emailed tj on Saturday. Part of that email is:

My own journey that might not end up “where” I thought. I lost my 10 year old Karelian Bear Dog, Karl, to cancer, in mid-April. In mid-May, I adopted a 6 ½ year old KBD, Bear, whose person, a single man, had died suddenly. […] I also have a 14 year old diabetic cat, Bob. Bear and Bob did not hit it off. My home is separated by gates. Bear is well trained, well mannered and is responding well to the training I’m doing so that he can be off leash with me for walks in my rural area, but the Bear and Bob thing and in fact, the whole rhythm of my home is not how I pictured. I had a kind of comeuppance several weeks ago – the journey thing. Changing my focus to enjoying each day and the progress, no matter where it leads, is what turned it for me. That is why your comment so resonated with me.

While I keep an eye on my “destination” my focus IS on enjoying each day and each day’s progress with Bear, with Bear and Bob. I have let go of the outcome, it is TODAY that matters and today, ALL is good! Bear and Bob and I are healthy and happy.

As Tammy (tj) and I traded a few emails…Tammy wrote “I know the starting out is the hard part, right now I’m still taking baby steps and every journey starts with just one step.” That FIRST step in whatever public venue…internet, family, family and friends…taking that FIRST public step…it is actually a leap – a leap of faith. To put yourself out there, whether it is your coleslaw dressing, your photography, your writing, your professional skills…it is hard! What if you fail, what if no one buys, what if…what if…what if???

To take that first step, in confidence, in faith, in fear…it is admirable and courageous.

THAT is why I responded, why I emailed and why I posted “Save a barn and have delicious cole slaw”. The real title, though, should have been “Courage” because that is what courage looks like…despite all of the “what ifs”, despite fear – taking the first step.

***Comments are closed

It’s not my barn…I don’t have a barn…I’d love to have a barn…I LOVE Barns!

But that’s not why I became involved with Humble Origins (tj in comments) effort to save her family’s barn.

More on the why and how I took an interest this weekend. All the details are on Humble Origins’ Save the barn page. Tammy is selling her DELICIOUS!!! homemade coleslaw dressing to raise funds to save the barn.

Humble Origins Etsy Shop has two listings. One is for $6.00 and you pay shipping. The second is the same jar of dressing for $25.00 and shipping is free. The $25.00 jar is to allow any who’d like to get a bottle of dressing and additionally donate a bit extra for the “Save the Barn” fund. And, to quote/paraphrase Tammy: “If you make your own wonderful dressing OR if you don’t want to offend your Aunt Betty who makes the family dressing”… BUT, you’d like to help save the barn,…there is direct donate button on the Save the barn page.

I encourage you to try the dressing, though. It is a tangy, sweet dressing – wonderful and so refreshing.

Happy Friday!

The road to my house is a road I love. I’ve written about it. There is a gallery of photos from different times of the year…different times in my life (see the new tab on the top menu). This little house, the woods, the meadows and mountains beyond…visible through the woods. This location – it has been home for most of the last, almost 5 years… some of that 5 years was spent in my motor home: ‘Wild Thing’

The story, though, the ‘From the Front Porch’ story…it is the story of moments in time that comprise part of my life’s journey…along the road home.

I was reminded of the journey by Bill, of California Karelians. I contacted California Karelians to inquire about the possibility of a professional Karelian Bear Dog trainer to consult with me on Bear’s training. Having trained KBD puppies, but never a grown up KBD, I was unsure. I felt out of my depth and I so want to do things right so that Bear can have the best life possible with me and hopefully, Bob! Bill and Liz of California Karelians have been incredible resources as well as encouraging supporters.

After a discouraging setback between Bear and Bob, Bill emailed me: “you are on a journey it was supposed to be this way”.

Those words stuck with me. The universe sometimes conspires ‘against’ me with the same message from every venue of my life. These past weeks, it has been: ‘the journey’. Not the destination, but the journey, the road home. Not the house or the location, but the way there. Each moment of the journey is a blessed time. In a world of things that need to “get done”, “to do” lists, schedules and commitments…learning to enjoy the blessedness of each moment versus only the end goal of getting it done, can be a challenge. The moments often get lost in a swirl of busy-ness and the push for completion.

Months ago, sitting in Dr. Barbara Calm’s office with Karl – talking about his treatment but also my confiding to Dr. Calm that I felt I might be putting pressure on Karl with too much focus on him… and much as I tried not to, I knew there was underlying worry and anxiety. Our bond was so strong and we spent so much time together – I had a fear that he was holding on for me. I was speaking with her about my decision to step back and work on relaxing and letting things be. Dr. Calm smiled, pointed to Karl who was asleep on her office floor and said: “Look at him. He is not worried or anxious, take your cue from him.”

Bear is a joy! He is loving, enthusiastic, curious and eager to please. Outdoors, he is all Karelian Bear Dog business. Our bond grows every day: trust, respect and love. There is still a ways to go before we can try off leash. There is still a ways to go before Bob and Bear can be together with me.

There were some moments, weeks ago, when I was frustrated, scared, sure I was doing everything wrong and ruining both their lives. But then, those words: “you are on a journey it was supposed to be this way”. It changed my perspective. Nothing had actually changed in the circumstances except my ability to take one day at a time, recognize and experience the joy in each step forward and to look at occasional setbacks as opportunities to learn.

In dog training, there is something called “remove and redirect”. When an unwanted behavior is escalating, you remove your dog and redirect his attention. With Bear, if he is overexcited to the point where he cannot hear me, I give 2 tweets on the whistle I carry. In the brief silence from that distraction, I speak low and firm saying “Leave it” – then an upbeat “Let’s go, Bear!” as I do a 180 and remove him from whatever. Now he can hear me and he’s looking to me for direction, so I have him sit, which restores calm and allows us to reconnect. Bill suggested the 180 procedure to help teach Bear that the non threatening critters that were not in our yard were not worth attention.

I find that “remove and redirect” works for me as well :)! When something beyond my control is causing me to emotionally escalate in an unwanted manner, I do a mental 180, a sit-stay and redirect with a cup of tea, a quiet moment with Bear or Bob, a prayer for serenity in the moment and gratitude, whatever the circumstances.

An email from Bill after I confided that the “journey” words had helped me relax about Bear and Bob: “[…]you got the point, regarding the journey, and the dog lives in the moment, so why not enjoy it with him!”

Why not, indeed!

The journey, not the destination, not the outcome – it is the journey, one moment at a time … that is the road home – for me.