Posts from the ‘Front Porch Musings’ category

Herb Garden, part 1 aka “stopping to smell the roses” or whatever

Yesterday afternoon I needed a break from programming and was thinking on a little strength training session. But, it was beautiful outdoors – not too hot, nice breeze…so I combined a bit of strength work with the start of my herb garden project.

The “plan” for the herb garden is to smooth out the pile of dirt – topsoil pile left by the last owner and somewhat commandeered by Karl. (see King of the Hill )

The weeds and grass need to be removed. I am going to mow around the pile a bit and surround it with a rock border. I’m not sure what herbs or other things I will plant – I will wait and see what the nursery has when I’m ready. I hope to be ready to go to the nursery by mid-August when they put all perrenials, including herbs on sale. This should work well as I don’t plan on killing myself to get the dirt ready for planting.

This not killing myself to get it all done RIGHT NOW – this is a recently acquired “skill”. In my youth and not so distant past I would have decided it all needed to be done immediately. Yesterday, as I approached the dirt pile with my first wheelbarrow full of rocks and looked at the grass and weeds that needed to be pulled – and I was already hot from picking up rocks – I said to myself…”Hmmm, think I’ll just clean up this one little corner for today”. That’s when it struck me that I’d changed – and the thing is, it is a good change and a change that makes the project more fun than work! I don’t NEED to do it all RIGHT NOW. I can do a bit at a time – taking breaks in my work day to get outside and do something active. And I find myself looking forward to what little bit I might get done today – and enjoying thinking about how I might arrange rocks and what plants I might get…some day…

This change to doing projects a bit at a time – yes, partly due to the fact that it is not as easy at 52, almost 53 to work physically hard for hours, but it is driven more by an appreciation for enjoying the moment and the task versus a “just get it done” attitude.

I cleaned up the little corner of the dirt pile, dumped my first load of small rocks and took a moment to look at the progress. The sun warmed dirt and just pulled weeds and grass had that “working in the garden” smell. Karl was working on a stick nearby. It was a simple, joyful, moment – one I might have missed if all I had in mind was getting it done.

I’ve got plenty of rocks to choose from…

Enjoying the moment, smelling the dirt, feeling the sunshine…Herb Garden, part 1.

Enjoying what is there – From the front porch

We had a good soaking rain off and on on the 4th of July. It might be the last really good rain for awhile as there is none in the forecast and this time of year it can go very dry.

When we had the trenching done for the electric, I asked Dave (contractor) to “fix” the ruts we made getting the bus in and out of the old garden site. Apart from the “patch” above, the grass has come up fairly well on the old site but still a bit sparse in areas and there were other small ruts from the 4wheeler. On Sunday, when things were dried a bit from the 4th’s rain, I spread more grass seed and starter fertilizer – in preparation for that, I mowed the yard as close as I dared. The timing was good as the yard is as green and “lush” as it will get….

It struck me yesterday as I was walking with Karl that the yard and the woods – this is likely their prime time for greenness – they look good, they look like summer – beautiful! Yes, the house needs some bushes – landscaping – I’ve been holding off, planning to paint at least the trim – I think the blue should be changed to dark brick brown-red – a darker shade of the roof color. I DO love the grassy yard area where the garden used to be and have NO regrets about giving up that garden. I’m thinking of a small rock bordered flower-herb garden on Karl’s dirt pile. I know that sounds like a potential recipe for disaster, re digging – but I’m ok with a bit of a challenge… and the soil is there, it has a nice contour…we’ll see.

Meanwhile, I will enjoy what IS there.

From the front porch…

Grace

Grace: unmerited favor, ease and suppleness of movement and bearing

I love the word grace – simply saying it invokes a feeling of serenity and harmony. I had this pottery made by a young woman in Whitefish, who, at the time was just starting to sell her work. She had several bowls – of mixing bowl size with words handwritten around them. I got to thinking that I would like my plates and cups and bowls to have words that inspired me so that as I had my morning coffee or ate a meal, I would see the words. And hopefully, the words – words like grace, hope, love, peace, faith, harmony, laughter, joy – these words would inspire me at the start and during the day – to remember what was really important – even and especially while dealing with the nuts and bolts of daily life.

Sometimes, this works…

Sometimes, I just look at my dog…who imparts grace in simply being near…

A loose hold

Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest – June 27 entry

“I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord.” Jeremiah 1:8

God promised Jeremiah that He would deliver him personally. That is all God promises His children. Wherever God sends us, He will guard our lives. Our personal property and possessions are a matter of indifference, we have to sit loosely to all those things; if we do not, there will be panic and heartbreak and distress. That is the inwardness of the overshadowing of personal deliverance.

“Our personal property and possessions…we have to sit loosely to all those things; if we do not, there will be panic and heartbreak and distress.” This caused me to think – and remember the following from Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin:


The garbage in most of our lives is the relentless anxiety and agitation created by the fear that we will not get enough of the world’s goodies to feel safe, secure and turned on.

It was a feeling that I was holding on too tightly and fretting too much over “things” that started me thinking about making changes on From the Front Porch (see On Eagles Wings post or page). My motives for adding advertising, for advertising on other blogs, for commenting on other blogs – were not entirely or even primarily, motives of greed. It costs money to self-host. Cameras, accessories, software – big bucks. As the number of people reading From the Front Porch grew and I discovered that my comments elsewhere led people to find me – AND – as I realized how much I loved the writing and photography, I wondered if I could subsidize this new love. I enjoyed the sense of community among bloggers. I see nothing wrong in making a living from writing and photography on a blog. It is self-publishing – a wonderful form of entrepreneurship.

My personal discontent with what I was doing stems not from the vehicle or the original motivation but the sense of anxiety I grew to have over the “numbers” for the day – how many comments, how many pageviews… And I started to pay attention to which entries seemed to get the most attention and maybe I should do more like that. And I started to not like doing it and longing for the mornings when I wrote for me.

My “day” job – my programming work – it is going well. I enjoy that work very much and feel extremely grateful that I have been able to make a good living doing something I enjoy – from a home office. And in this day of wi-fi, aircards, i.e. internet virtually everywhere, I can work from anywhere.

These thoughts, anxiety over money, over the house, over the future – fueled by this thought that if I wrote well enough, if my photography was good enough, it would “save” me from future fluctuations in programming work, or enable me to write and shoot full time. Suddenly I realized I was living in a way that I dislike – living with the feeling that I could control the future. Worse, I was not enjoying “now” as I tried to maintain control.

On June 27, I read the Oswald Chambers entry and finally “leaned not on my own understanding”. I have always had “enough”… It took a few days to loosen the hold. But, once I let go, enormous peace… It is a good path for me, this loose hold on things. It is when I do my best work – programming, writing or photography. It is when I am the best “me”. “Let go in reckless confidence” – another Brennan Manning theme – one I have written on the top of the spreadsheet I use for tracking my time for my programming work – something for me to remember every day.

On this Fourth of July, this day of Independence for our country, I will also celebrate an independence from fretting about the future and simply enjoy today.

“This is the day the Lord hath made. Rejoice and be glad in it” Psalm 118:24