Posts from the ‘Front Porch Musings’ category

The weather outside is frightful!

And, yes, the fire is so delightful :)!

It is alternating between heavy, wet snow and freezing rain outside. Even Karl came in. I took computer and a mocha spiked with cinnamon schnapps to join Bob in front of the fire to work on this post.

Bob and I had an exchange of ideas…

After all, Christmas is about love and family and tradition. Bob has been part of my Christmas celebrations for 10 years.

Although this week’s work schedule was less pushed, I have felt not quite caught up – with not enough hours in the day to do all I’d like to do. Just a few weeks ago I was getting a jump on Christmastime and now it is suddenly only 2 weeks away.

Last weekend, towards the end of Sunday, I dashed to the garage for my Christmas boxes and unpacked the things I wanted around me this Christmas.

Typically, when I’ve been in a house for awhile, there are “places” where the Christmas things go and this house is no different – I’ve put things in the same place every year. But, this year, as I sorted things on the kitchen table, I had a new thought. I spend most of my time in the sunroom/office and kitchen. Although I love sitting in the living room with a fire, my time there is usually a short time in the morning and evening.

As I was considering a different plan for this year, it occured to me what a cornucopia of memory and experience and friendships and family history there was in that small group of Christmas things.

Over the back of the chair on the right is a placemat woven by my mother. She made 2 placemats and a smaller table centerpiece mat for me when she was learning to weave some years ago. The garland of mini stuffed hearts is a find from a quirky Christmas shop in El Segundo, CA as are a few of the wood ornaments on the table. I lived in El Segundo for a couple of years – 20 years ago!

The large stuffed tree with gold trim was made by a co-worker from Korn/Ferry International where I worked temporarily as secretary to the V.P. of Operations and General Counsel. It was a unique and fun position and the tree is a happy reminder of that time – MORE than 20 years ago!

The goofy stuffed snowman and moose – gifts from a neighbor and her daughter from my first Montana neighborhood. The daughter a pre-teen then is now grown and on her own.

The skiing Mama rabbit – a gift from my father to my mother. I love it because it says to me, “The heck with the housework, no time to even remove the apron…put on the skis and go!” It speaks of choosing joy and fun.

The angel bear I bought myself for my tree topper. We always had an angel on the top of the tree growing up and this just made me laugh and yet is sweet. That is a black and white cat, a tuxedo cat …with angel wings and I think it once had a halo. My mother gave it to me…my tuxedo cat Gus was not angelic in a lot of his behavior – he was “his own man” and yet also very attached to me. He disappeared 5 years ago…the hunter became the hunted – hard.

The UCLA bear was a gift from the man at UCLA who signs my work contract. Bill and his wife Judy – not only colleagues but dear friends of 19 years duration. And my time as a consultant at UCLA has been and is a source of joy as well as the thing that puts kibble in everyone’s bowl and keeps the roof over our heads :)!

To the right, a new addition, just in the last week – the Folkstone Santas – a gift from friend Sandy’s collection. It didn’t make the photo and is not a decoration, but Jerry sent along a mini-flashlight for staying in my coat pocket so that I don’t get lost in the dark woods at night! There were other goodies from them and these Folkstone Santas will be forever tied to the love attached to small things that mean a lot – dear friendship!

That skier in the front. He is made of wooden beads attached with elastic string. He was my father’s and growing up the skier was positioned under the tree. A white sheet was wrapped around the base of the tree as snow and the skier sat in the folds of the snow. It was a favorite and is always part of my Christmas reminding me of those idyllic childhood Christmases.

I had wonderful childhood Christmases full of all of the anticipation, family, food, and magic of Christmas. I have had married Christmases, single Christmases, Christmases alone and shared. I love them all. I somehow missed the angst that many have over woulda/coulda/shoulda/might have beens and love each year for all of the good things in it.

The decorating, it is part of both the anticipation, the remembering, the Joy – and as a spiritual person, who believes that Jesus is who he said he was, it is that time of ultimate HOPE.

The stockings are hung, by my desk with care…

And the weather outside is frightful, but inside, in this warm house, with Karl and Bob and reminders of family and friends…it is delightful and lovely and full of hope and joy.

The agony of defeat

That is the snowthrower in that trailer. It is going off to Big John’s.

The auger stopped augering on Thanksgiving Eve. I had a spare auger belt. The directions didn’t look bad and I have tools, can read, have done plenty of repairing/servicing of stuff. But, in recent years, Big John’s has been my go to place for home equipment as they pick up, service and deliver for a price so low it is hard to understand how they are making any money. But…it was Thanksgiving and snowing and forecast to snow more and I had all I needed so I began.

My first hurdle was getting the new belt on. I finally realized that at 15F, a rubber belt was going to have less give than normal and maybe warming it up would help. Also, it was getting dark. The belt spent the night in the house.

Friday, I got the belt on. I fired up the thrower. It started marching out of the garage on its own. I didn’t try the auger.

I have a work deadline to meet. I already had a couple of hours in the thrower. Discretion…valor, etc. – I made the call to Big John’s. Adding to the agony, I had to include a note about working on it. The good news is that it may be the source of amusement to whoever draws my thrower to work on. Laughter is good for the soul!

Meantime, the temperature rose above freezing. Three – four more inches of heavy wet snow has fallen. The snow and needles have come down off the trees in shuddering avalanches – sometimes on the roof of the house sounding a bit like the entire tree came with. It is a mess. It does this every year!…a VERY cold spell, a foot of snow and then a warm up.

Now, it is forecast to get cold again and more snow on top of slush that will freeze. Somehow it works out and looks beautiful again but at the moment not so much.

Although some long days this week on this project push, it has been a very good week. Hope yours has been as well – Happy Friday!

The Ice House – Somers, MT

The Ice House may become another series like “The Road Home” and our loop walk…a spot that is photogenic, story-telling in a unique way and so different in all the seasons and varied light. (See The Ice House for more info)

Today, there was a bleakness to the landscape and this particular capture. But…Karl and I were there because the super-cold has broken…it was 25F. And with no wind, it felt nearly balmy in comparison to the past week.

The Ice House, Somers, MT.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Front Porch!

I love to cook and I love to cook Thanksgiving dinner, but this year decided to do things differently. Work and Karl and typical weather (which we GOT!) all made me decide some time ago that this year’s holiday celebrations would be celebrated at home – the three of us.

I recently read something on the order of there are people who get energy from being around others and people who get energy from solitude. I definitely fall in the solitude camp and find it exhausting to do much of the “people” thing. I know…it explains a lot :)!!

So, this year, the fambly Summers Thanksgiving Day will not only be intimate but I also decided to depart from the usual turkey dinner.

We are not departing from a cozy fire in the woodstove, though – Bob would never allow that to happen!

On top of the TV is my Thanksgiving bread on the rise – it is Broa, a Portuguese corn bread according to the recipe. Not southern cake-like cornbread, it is a crusty – chewy bread made with some cornmeal. And I’m adding the recipe’s Thanksgiving variation which includes dried cranberries and orange zest. I think it will go perfectly with the pumpkin stew that will be simmering on the stove this afternoon. A green salad and some fizzy apple cider will round out my dinner with Nantucket Cranberry Pie for dessert.

There will be leftovers, just like the usual turkey dinner, as I find it impossible, no matter what my intention, to make a small pot of soup or stew…

A large gift box of the Meyer Lemons arrived last week and some of them will join the cranberries to become cranberry-lemon marmalade. Meyer Lemons are a hybrid lemon-mandarin orange (might be something else from the orange family) cross – slightly sweeter than a regular lemon, thinner skinned and rounder. And fresh off the tree – beautifully fragrant…a wonderful gift!

A little snowthrower maintenance is also on the “menu” – rats! My own fault as I decided to do some cleanup in the dark, hit a few rocks and the auger belt broke. Also, it needs an oil change. I’d have it picked up and serviced except it is snowing…

..kind of constantly and supposed to keep going and another storm so will see if I can get all in working order today.

Karl in his closet looking concerned that I am in there as well AND pointing the camera at him. It is the last weekend of hunting season and the guns were on the loud side this morning. Both he and Bob will join me at the table when the food is ready. No one misses a meal at this house!

Seriously, Thanksgiving – I have so much to be thankful for – Karl and Bob, this warm and comfortable house, good food to fix and enjoy, good work, friends and family – all is good and well.

Happy Thanksgiving from Karl, Bob and I to all.

***EDIT*** And I’m thankful for my neighbors, Mike and Nancy. And I’m REALLY thankful for their backhoe :)! I had just hit Publish for this post when Mike and their backhoe headed up my driveway…takes the pressure off the snowthrower repair.

My good news

This is “Part 2” to Karl’s Good News

Somewhere in the neighborhood of 13 years ago, I was flying back to Toledo, Ohio vicinity to visit my grandmother Ruth, who was in a nursing home. I am the oldest grandchild and was the only girl on that side until I was 21. Ruth and I were close – for 21 years I was her favorite granddaughter!

Flying from Kalispell, MT to Toledo, OH is not a direct kind of thing. Kalispell to Salt Lake City to Cincinnati, OH to Toledo was the typical route. The Cinci to Toledo leg was a small plane hop.

On this particular trip, in May, as the Salt Lake jet approached Cincinnati there was a sudden lurch to port, unusual low groaning sounds from the engines, a violent lurch to starboard, and then that feeling of a drop. A flight attendant deadheading to Cinci was seated next to me and even she gasped. It did not feel like turbulence. It felt like something horribly wrong. There was an audible intake of breath within the entire plane and then silence. And then things normalized and we landed. And the pilots stayed behind closed doors as we deplaned.

It was an unnerving experience and an unexplained incident.

I boarded a shuttle bus for the outlying small plane terminal. Still unnerved, I saw the weather…dark, anvil clouds surrounded the tarmac.

Cincinnati is a four hour drive from Toledo. I stood in the small plane terminal and thought about renting a car and driving. The thought of getting on another plane, particularly a small plane – and taking the hop through Midwest thunderstorms did not appeal.

But…my grandmother was waiting. And the plan was that I would stop on my way from the airport and pick up Greek food for a shared supper. Ruth did NOT like the bland nursing home food and we both enjoyed Greek. It was the plan and she would be waiting. If I drove, I would not make it in time for our shared supper.

I boarded my scheduled flight.

The turbo jet had 2 seats on each side of the aisle and just enough headroom that I, at 5’ 8” did not have to duck to walk to my seat but it was close quarters. My aisle seat was about halfway back. No one was in the window seat.

I was a bit anxious, but mostly impatient. As soon as I have my seat, I’d like everyone else to have theirs and then “let’s get this show on the road!” As people were boarding, the flight attendant fired up her mike and announced, “Please stow all belongings very securely and make sure your seat belts are fastened properly. We have been encountering severe turbulence on our route today and expect our short flight to Toledo to be the same”. ..

I wanted to bolt.

Something made me turn my head. In the row across and behind, a young girl, maybe 5… laid her head down in her father’s lap and snuggled in to sleep. My immediate thought was, “Sure, she can relax, she is with her father.” Memories of the surety that I was safe when my own father was with me came to mind.

My next thought was “I am with MY father too! My heavenly father is with me as sure as that child’s earthly father is with her.” The sequence of thoughts came in rapid fire succession. That urge to look behind me, the sequence of thoughts – the memory is vivid and clear to this day.

The next unbidden thoughts were that I KNEW that the presence of God, my heavenly father, did not mean that the plane would not crash. But, what it did mean to me was that regardless of what happened in my earthly circumstances, God is and will be with me. I believe that this earthly experience is just a small part of existence, but it IS all we consciously know so the things in this experience that are painful are things we fear.

In a way that I don’t have words to explain, seeing that little girl’s trust in her father’s protection, made me aware of my father-God’s protection and I relaxed and enjoyed the flight…which as it turned out, was not very turbulent at all! I arrived in time to pick up the Greek food and enjoy a supper with my grandmother.

It is like a kind of visual mnemonic – the memory of that little girl laying her head down in her father’s lap and feeling no fear – it is the thing that surfaces often when I feel horrible fear. That memory comes to mind and helps me quiet myself and let go of fear and worry.

The recent months: fear of losing Karl, of decisions I might have to make, of putting him through things he might not understand, a fierce desire to will events to happen according to my desires – at times they threatened to overwhelm. All of those fears drove me back to that memory, back to the sure knowledge I have that God is always with me and He is also always with Karl.

I dearly want Karl with me for years and for him to pass away quietly in his sleep after a roaring good day…in the distant future! I prayed for that, for wisdom in decisions for Karl, for gentleness for Karl. I KNOW that all prayers are heard and answered. I also know that the answer to prayer is always right BUT not necessarily what I would want or what seems good to me just as all things a child might want and wish for are not given by a parent – a parent who sees a bigger picture and who knows more than the child…

I don’t understand suffering any more than the next person, I only know that it is part of this existence.
There is a verse:

Isaiah 26:3 “You [God] will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you [God].”

When fear and doubt and worry threatened to overwhelm, I had a choice. I could give in to that fear and lose the Joy of the current moment or I could trust in my Father’s wisdom beyond my understanding and His presence in all circumstances and be grateful for all that I currently had – relax and enjoy the ride.

My prayers now are still for long life for Karl, for gentleness for him, for healing, for wisdom in decisions, but they are also for a faith strong enough to trust – for a mind steadfast.

But ask the animals and they will teach you or the birds of the air and they will tell you
Or speak to the earth and it will teach you or let the fish of the sea inform you.
Which of all these does not know that the hand of God has done this.
In His Hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.
Job 12: 7-10

In His Hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. – THAT is my good news.

This morning!

This morning started out so very, very right – snow on the ground and still falling! Karl stopped on the front porch and stared – then ran out full of excitement….Bob not so much, but truth be told, he goes out in the snow and the wet and the cold…just not this morning.

It was coming right down but I do know this is a bit of a teaser. It was hovering near freezing, the snow was wet, the ground is not frozen so it won’t stick – probably not even through the morning, but it is the first “on the ground at my house” snow of the year.

And I got a chance to try out my new Uggs :)!

This morning’s coffee was extra good – how that happens, I don’t know…, snow on the ground, a warm fire in a warm house, interesting work for the day, Bob and Karl are well and happy – All is very good this morning!