The Road Home.

It is several days until the official start of Summer, but here in Montana it looks like Spring – the green hay, grasses, trees are still the bright green of Spring versus the mature green of early Summer.

Time.

I am very aware of time. I am aware of how I spend it and of the limited commodity that it is. For almost 26 years I have worked as an independent consultant, paid by the hour. No one sets how many hours I work but me. I have been fortunate to mostly have had the luxury of working as much as I’d care to.

Through the Winter and into Spring as Karl’s condition waxed and waned I had to let go my fierce hold on time and just be there with him at his pace. There was a day when I consciously said to myself, “just let go of the need to control the schedule and just be…the only time that matters is time with he and Bob”.

A funny thing happened when I gave up that tight hold. Everything that needed to be done still got done. I kept my work committments AND made enough money. I ate and obtained supplies.

But, I was sometimes spending what seemed like hours, in the woods with Karl, on slower walks…on more walks. Most days were “normal” until early April but there were times that were not. It is hard to remember exactly now and I don’t want to try. What I do remember is the joy of just being with him and watching him smell the scent on the breeze, roll in the snow, play with a stick, look at me and smile.

I saved those moments. Some are on this blog, some are in my mind and memory. It was an idyllic time of intense awareness.

And now. Everything is different. Bear is here. He is a joy with a happy and generous spirit despite everything being very different for him, too. Bob, Bear and I – we are all adjusting to a new routine, a new schedule, a new way of doing everything. It is both good and challenging, but ultimately, it is “us” – the fambly* Summers – bright with the new growth of a new season: maturing as we grow together.

The Road Home: Green edition.

*fambly…from the Pogo comic strip.