There’s one…
…and some more.
This elk herd is around in the winter. I’ve only seen them 2 or 3 times before last night and then this morning. I see their prints and other sign but they tend to move through after dark or before sunrise.
When Karl and I were gone and friend, Sara, was house and Bob sitting, she saw them several times.
They are really a bit odd looking.
And there they go…
The sunny, springlike days of this past week gave way to a day of snow squalls. Karl was thrilled.
I’m not sure Bob was thrilled, but he was out playing with bubbles in the water bowl.
A noon walk in Somers past the Ice House.
Yep, me! A little something from each of us.
Yes, the snow is melting and the ground is thawing – the spring meltdown.
But, I had a personal meltdown as well. A perfect storm of concerns, a few nights of little sleep, withdrawing instead of reaching out – meltdown.
I saw a bumper sticker not too long ago that said: “Don’t believe everything you think”. It was eye-opening to me. It put a name on something that happened when a person near to me allowed past issues unrelated to me to color perception of me and my actions in a complete misjudgment. To be untrusted and unbelieved was the most hurtful thing I’ve ever encountered in any personal relationship. And it all stemmed from the other person believing internal thoughts fed by internal insecurities versus the reality of me. The additional personal fallout for me was that I started questioning my actions – had I behaved in a way that fed this… Seeing the bumper sticker was immediately freeing for me in one of those a-ha moments.
Fast forward to this week and my little storm of worries. I not only believed what I thought, I projected and spun and lept into a fictional future of hurt and grief. And all the while I sort of understood what I was doing and repeatedly tried to talk myself out of the downward spiral: reciting scripture, praying, telling myself to “get a grip” and “walk the walk that I talked”: living in the moment, trusting God and his ultimate Love and care.
And still the storm of worry swirled around me. So first I posted Spring Break as the thought of posting anything at all seemed beyond me and I just wanted the blog to go away for awhile.
And then I spoke to a friend. And then to a professional advisor. And then to two more friends. And to my mother. And the storm passed, the sun came out, the air cleared. The unwritten future horrors in my head disappeared and I regained my peace and equanimity, my faith and my gratitude for the goodness of each real moment – the reality in front of me.
And I gave myself a break. It was literally a beautiful, sunny day when my personal storm cleared. I took some time off from working and sat outside with Karl and Bob and just let the early Spring day wash over me. I slept that night and things cleared even more with a good night’s rest.
As the week progressed, I marveled at the complete turnaround, back to my normal optomistic, serene self – enjoying the many simple and good things that are part of my life. And I thought about what had happened and what had I learned from the experience as I’d dearly love to not repeat it :)!
I know that I typically draw energy from solitude. I also know that it is that trait that gets me in trouble when I don’t recognize that I need to reach out and ask for help from those that I love and who love me. I don’t withdraw or try to solve things on my own in some misguided sense of independence or strength, but rather because most often, quiet time on my own is what recharges me. The trick for me, is to realize when the need is not to recharge but to have another person to share the burden.
I saved the following quote from an episode of J.A.G. some years ago:
We are each angels with only one wing and we can only fly by embracing each other.
For me, this week, my own personal Spring meltdown was halted by embracing the warmth and love of friends and family and allowing them to take care of me.
There is still a lot on my plate, but sharing some of my life on this blog is a joy and pleasure. So… I’m back from Spring Break and will continue as in the past – sharing some of Karl’s, Bob’s and my life, in Montana, from the front porch.
***All photos taken on 3/23/2011 with my phone
Cobwebs in my house and my head, a heavy work schedule, Karl.
Taking a Spring blogging break to take care of Karl, Bob and me.
Since I moved to this property, I have hoped to find some antler sheds. Today, just crossing the property line, nearing the end of our morning walk, I looked down and there it was. I am so used to seeing sticks and rocks and it took a moment to register that I was looking at an antler.
Karl is not interested so it is safe with my other finds of turkey and raven feathers and a heart shaped rock.
Friday morning perfection.
Between the sunshine, blue sky and perfect for us temps…who could NOT roll in the snow for the fun of it ? :)! ?
Feelin’ good.
I finished my work day mid-afternoon. Karl and I headed west to Kila and Calm Animal Care for Karl to have a spa treatment: a chiropractic follow up and a first time acupuncture. Yea, I was a little envious but actually it is a treat for me as well. We arrived early enough to have a long leisurely walk on the “Rails to Trails” path that looks to the view in the photo above. Dr. Calm’s office where we both wait and get treated has 2 1/2 large picture windows that look out on this valley view. Small trees just outside the windows were full of small birds chirping gaily in the almost spring sunshine.
The clinic is in an old house and exudes the same calm as Dr. Calm herself and all of the staff and even the other patients. Karl and I relaxed while waiting. Karl nearly falls asleep on his feet during the massage/chiropractic and he did fall asleep during the acupuncture part. I shared the foam mattress that serves as the dog bed and managed nearly falling asleep myself! Once home we were both feeling rejuvenated and had a wonderful evening walk around the loop as the sun started down.
Friday was to be the day to go to Great Falls and meet Ree Drummond (Pioneer Woman) but I had made the decision two weeks ago that I wouldn’t try to do the trip. As it turned out, the weather would have held me back as well.
…both the northern and southern pass options – snow, ice and or both.
But Friday here, was sunny, clear and beautiful – a beautiful evening and a good night’s rest all around after a good work week.
Saturday’s weather was a wintry mix which didn’t stop us from a morning grocery run and dampish walk in town and a lazy afternoon in front of the woodstove.
This morning. Misty, foggy, damp…another fire to keep things cozy until the sun started burning off the fog…
…and we headed out for another round of our home loop.
…while Bob relaxed at home: Weekend Miscellany.