Posts from the ‘Front Porch Musings’ category

In His Hand

I read a daily entry from Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Hightest” every morning with my first cup of coffee and most usually from my wingback chair….these days it is in the corner of my sunroom.  When I’m travelling, I read from the recliner in the motorhome.  It has been part of the start of my day for nearly 12 years now and is that time of quiet – of settling my mind and thoughts at the start of the day.  I use the reading to quiet my head to “Be Still” (Psalm 46:10) and know that God is present and with me.  It is a time of thanksgiving, of worship, of peace and reflection.  I have been through all of the entries 12 times and still there are many days when I read something as if I’ve never read it before.  It is astonishing to me in it’s revelation and wisdom!  And the timing – it is sometimes SO timely as to feel like an angelic hand has rewritten an entry specifically to me to correspond with what is happening at that precise moment in my life.  Last week, these words were in the reading:

God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process – that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea.  It is the process, not the end which is glorifying to God.

God’s end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now.  If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious.

The journey – not the destination…  The time of NOW not the future or the past.  NOW is the blessed time whether it is a joyous time or in the most difficult and painful of circumstances.

A beloved cat, Sam, who belongs to my folks has been very ill.  Sam is special to me as well as to them.  He was the inspiration for me adopting my first cat, Gus.  Gus was my “angel cat” – a fierce and dedicated hunter but also a neck hugger and lover – with me for 9 years.  When Gus was a year old we visited my mother and Sam – Sam, who never liked another cat, took Gus under wing and taught him to hunt.  It was an incredible bonding between 2 male cats.  I lost Gus nearly 2 years ago – as far as I know to another predator.  It is still an incredibly painful loss and to this day I would gladly sell everything but my soul to have him back.

 Sam is approximately 15 years old – senior for a cat, but still an active hunter – also an affectionate cat who loves to nap on my step-Dad’s lap and have his whiskers rubbed.  Now, some mysterious infection – but as of yesterday he was eating and regaining strength – hopefully on the mend.  And it is not just concern for Sam, but also for my folks who love him dearly and have shared his life.  They and I are all well aware of the life span of dogs and cats and of the greater cycle of life that we are all part of.   That knowledge does not make a loss or the endurance of pain any more endurable – it is always just hard and exhausting.  And for me, a reminder that loss is part of life and there will be more loss in my own life – times of despair and sadness.  What brings hope is the sure knowledge that “He can walk on the chaos of my life”…

Job 12: 7-10

But ask the animals and they will teach you or the birds of the air and they will tell you

Or speak to the earth and it will teach you or let the fish of the sea inform you.

Which of all these does not know that the hand of God has done this.

In His Hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

Midwest girl to city girl to wood nymph

I was born and grew up in Northwest Ohio – Toledo and then Perrysburg.  At 24, I took a job that moved me to San Francisco area and then several years later I moved to Los Angeles where I lived for 13 years before my move to Montana in early ’94. 

Karl will do a bit of a perimeter check on his own first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, but he is a homebody dog – staying in the “yard” unless I walk out and then he happily goes with.  We are in the habit of a walk down the driveway as soon as there is a bit of light for me.  Karl will venture into the woods on the way back, but the trip out is along the driveway.  I have a cup of coffee with me and I amble along as he stops to sniff and explore a bit.

Tree    

Stump

 A few days ago I was standing where I took the photos above, absently watching Karl sniff around and looking at the moss covered stump.  When I lived in Los Angeles there was always a neighborhood bagel place that I could walk to from my apartment.  Standing in the early morning – something about the stump and the trees – it brought a vivid picture to mind of the contrast between the surroundings of my current home and how I once lived in the city.  In California and particularly Los Angeles, I lived in apartments that were mostly next to other apartment buildings and I had maybe one window that looked at a bit of a tree.  I was fortunate to find smaller buildings where I was one of 2 apartments on the floor so had windows on 3 sides usually, but still – it was Los Angeles – the city… sidewalks, cars, buses, small yards immaculately landscaped, office buildings…

In Montana, even my first house on a 90 x 100 lot in a subdivision – was a treed lot and there were 2 lots next to me with no homes as well as a woods behind that was a buffer between my subdivision and the one next – a huge leap from L.A.  The next move took me to a transitional rental on Flathead Lake – on the lake with my own little beach and also woods and orchard around and between the house and the road.  Swan River Road was next – a little craftsman house on 6 acres with about 2/3 in yard/pasture and 1/3 in woods – the river across the road and Swan Range rising to the east.  The house was surrounded with old growth birch and pines

Now, here I am in the 8 acre woods and cabin – turned into small ranch house – 175 yards off the road,  on top of  the first foothill before the Swan range,  40 acres of meadow beyond my woods opening onto vistas of the mountains, 40 acres of state land on the north boundary, and a nice neighbor who enjoys quiet and privacy as I do – to my west.  The woods is newly thinned and healthy with grasses and wildflowers growing up in between the trees.  The sun shines through the trees in a beautifully filtered pattern which changes from first light to last.

It is difficult to explain the thoughts and feelings that flitted through my mind in a manner of seconds – the contrast between the city and this woods.  I have lived in the lush midwest, near enough to the ocean to walk to the beach, in a neighborhood, on a lake and now in the woods by the mountains.   It is the woods by the mountains that I love best.  I bought a poster when I was 16 – it was about 2 feet wide and 4 feet high – it was simply sun shining through the trees of a woods – I could nearly duplicate the poster with any photo of my woods…. from the front porch, Saturday, July 21, 2007.

A new attitude

I make no secret of the fact that I HATE heat – I mean I really do not like to be hot.  June – July and early August I get the kind of doldrums most people get in the dead of winter.  I’ll bundle up and enjoy cold weather but heat just annoys me – humidity is another level of uncomfortable but thankfully that is not an issue in Montana. 

But, Saturday, I was in the hardware store… I LOVE a good hardware and even the Ace here is a family hardware and the people that work there are related to ??? – anyway, same people have been working there since I’ve lived in this area – 5 years – and they know me and have no problem giving me a hard time!  Typically, it is 3 or 4 trips for any one project by the time I go back for stuff I didn’t realize I’d need.  So, Saturday I was whining about the heat and they laughed at me and scolded me also – telling me to enjoy it as it would be snowing in a few months.  I said GREAT! – love snow!  BUT, I kept thinking about it and yesterday morning as I was puttering in the early morning when it is wonderfully cool and yet warm enough to putter about in shorts and t-shirt and not much else … and I realized, that here where I live, even on the hottest day there are still nice cool nights and mornings and it is really only mid-afternoon to mid-evening when it is HOT and maybe, just maybe I could be a bit less miserable if I concentrated on enjoying the morning… so, a new attitude.

So…here I am, on the front porch – 6:30 a.m. and it is 59 and a soft morning breeze wafting… the early morning birds are quiet – and although full light, the sun is not above the mountains to the east so the sky is rosy.  Karl is out enjoying the cool of the morning as well.  Bob is in the woods hunting.  And the other thing that I thought about – no matter how far past going to school I am, there is something about summer that feels like vacation time – and maybe exagerated since I work from home – but even for me, the days seem lazier and even if only in reminiscence – there is that kid-like enjoyment of “summer vacation”.

Except for a forecast respite this Thursday, there is currently no end in sight to 90 degree days.  The meterologists seem to have a kind of ghoulish excitement about the possibility of breaking all kinds of records – daily temp, run of 90 degree days, run of 100 degree days a few places.  I hope that I can keep up my variation of glass half full, i.e. day half cool frame of mind – and enjoy this time versus enduring it and wishing it away. 

The hardware guys are right of course, in a few months we will have snow… and it was only a few months back – May 3rd that I took this photo of the snow storm that interrupted the logging – so, I’ll try to keep this in mind and also take a page from Karl and Bob’s book – they know how to relax in the heat!

Snow

Bob

Karl

“Journey or Destination” or “How I got into RVing”

My friend, Carolyn, who I credit for some marvelous health improvements (see bioflavanoids in previous post this morning…) made the following comment about travel after having perused my recent travels on this blog:

“For me travelling is simply a way to get from A to B. I LOVE to go places but the getting there is not that fun.” 

The classic “Journey or Destination” paradox…  It really made me think – which I LOVE by the way!  And as a side note, if you want to read about some young women who are living – and I mean LIVING life and being thoughtful, world-caring, world-changing people – visit Carolyn’s blog and then her blogging friends (links from her site) – and their friends….  These are people that give me hope – they have committed to God, marriage, family, people in need, the environment – and they have committed in LOVE – not necessairly huge “in the news” things – but simple daily acts of thoughtfulness, random acts of kindness, “doing unto others as we would have done unto us” lives…  Sharp contrast to the “me-me-me-ness” that seems to make the news. 

 

So, back to topic… Before I had the motorhome, I would have said that the same was true for me – “the getting there is not that much fun.”  Somewhere/somewhen after much business travel and a few cross country car trips my travel philosophy changed a bit.  It was so gradual and sneaky that I didn’t consciously see it happening.  The last car trip in 2000 – Montana to Maine to Nova Scotia and back – that was the first conscious thought of RVing.  I spent 7 weeks “on the road” and except for one week in a Maine cottage, I was in a different hotel every night – with a dog and cat and their respective beds, food, dishes, litter box…plus my computer and my stuff.

 

There were many times that trip when I fantasized about being in a little rv… and that’s where I started – looking at camper vans – mini-motorhomes.  It wasn’t just the in and out of motel thing, it was also that I realized that I really LOVED “road” travel – wandering around the country on the highway, listening to local radio and at night, tv – talking to people – What’s important to people here vs there?  What’s life like in this place?  It was realizing that I loved the journey.

 

Fast forward to summer, 2005.  I had off and on looked at vans, travel trailers, truck campers, motorhomes – everything!  They each have their plusses and minuses and I dithered.  But in early summer ’05 a number of things happened – I had sold a house I loved and did not find another, a relationship ended, I had a 1-2 year work committment with a long-standing client, i.e. didn’t matter where I worked from – short story, I was “footloose and fancy free” and somewhat in need of a distraction… oh, and I turned 50…

 

In true mid-life crisis fashion, I went to an RV dealer and bought the Winnebago.  As it turned out, it was perfect for me and the boys (Karl and Bob).  At the time, buying the RV was a “means to an end” – a way to look around the country and see if there was somewhere else I’d rather live – while having the comforts of home and ability to take my pets easily.  I never expected to like the “rv lifestyle”…I thought – I’ll look around, decide where I want to live and then sell this thing and get back to “real life”. 

Ha!  Turns out that I love travelling in my “300 square foot 1 bedroom/1 bath home on wheels”.  The pets adapted beautifully and now I can’t envision traveling any other way and additionally the whole rv thing has become a hobby and the travel an addiction of sorts.  I haven’t really had a hobby before – it is incredible to me that I have become so enamored of all things RV and in the process, I hardly care WHERE I go, I just enjoy the going – with the paradox of loving Montana, my little house and the beautiful forest I live in.

 

So, maybe it is more than the RV journey – the journey of life and of discovering my place in it – on wheels or on ground.  Either way, now, for me, it is the journey.

Electronics, water and weather humor

Several weeks before I even thought about the Colorado trip I spilled a glass of wine and a bit splashed into my 2nd/backup notebook computer…  Now, I have spilled liquid in every computer (all notebooks) I’ve ever owned and feel that I have the dry out/clean up sticky key procedure down.  Ha – this one apparently splashed on some very sensitive something as it is well and truly dead.  It was due for replacement but I was trying to drag it out as I’m not really ready to go to Vista.  So much for “my” plans… 

BUT – if you happened to read a few posts back of my washing my Bluetooth headset – and I mean fully submerged – through the first rinse cycle even!  By the time I realized I had left the thing in the shirt pocket of a shirt I knew was in the wash, it had gone through the wash WITH detergent and the first rinse and I opened the machine which was full of water and had to find the shirt at the bottom.  Anyway, I let it “dry” for 24 hours and then plugged it into the charger…it’s little light came on indicating it was charging – huh….  The light starts at red, goes to yellow and then green when fully charged – it did all this.  I turned it on – got it’s blue light – the DARN thing is fine!  Well, I’m glad but it is a mystery to me how the headset could go through all it did and recover and a splash of wine wiped out the notebook computer.

Headset

Weather humor… it is HOTTTT!  90’s – that is HOT in MT – upper 80’s is hot in MT.  We had upper 90’s and even 102 last Friday – then some normal and now on our way for another heat wave.  I’m kind of a weather junky – one of things I like is the Forecast Discussion on NOAA.  This is where the meterologists write about what the various models say and what they (the people) think and how they are coming up with their weather guesses – serious weather lingo usually…  So today:

 NOAA:  “Sunday there is another small change to the pattern as a disturbance rides the west side of the ridge and brushes northwest Montana.  Areas South and East of Missoula (NOT ME in Kalispell area) will see only minor changes in air mass.  North and West of Missoula (ME) will feel a more noticeable drop in temperatures.”

 here is my favorite part… “(Most valleys still in the 90’s – so you can leave the parka packed away)” – VERY funny…

The sunroom and a million morning miracles

Winter mornings it is dark until after 8 a.m. and I have my first coffee and some quiet time in the reading chair which sits in the corner of my sunroom.  The sunroom is also home to my desk and computers, i.e. office space.  It is a very pleasant room with more windows than walls and has a wonderful variation of light filtered through the trees that surround the room and house.

I go through times when I wake up even earlier than my normal early wakeup and now is such a time – I’ve been waking at 3:30-4 a.m. in the last week.   There is no one but Bob and Karl to disturb and I work from a home office so have some flexibility in my work hours – I get up when I wake up.

This morning I was up at 3:50 – too early for the front porch – well, too early for Karl and Bob to be out and about and I can’t get away with going out without them.  After a short heat wave we are back to near normal for July – 80ish days and 50ish nights.  In the sunroom, with all of the windows and the slider open, it is almost like being outside – even at 4 a.m. there is a hint of light in the eastern sky – I am nearly up against the Swan Range to my east so I don’t actually see the sun until much later but he’s there, turning the sky over the mountains from dark night to a deep, dark blue and gradually to a light blue, then a rosy sky and finally to full light.  The birds and squirrels and turkeys are up and about and it gradually gets “noisier” as everyone wakes up.  The final night cooling happens just before sunrise and that fresh, cool air finds it’s way in even though it seems like there is not even a breeze outside.

I sat down in nearly full dark with my coffee and just watched and listened to the change from night to morning.  A million morning miracles (ok, I didn’t count them!) happen – It never fails to amaze me.

Sunroom

Slider