Yes, I am starting my fifth week on hiatus from work … but week 1 was 4th of July week.

And the last 2 weeks, I was asked to do some tasks: small-medium but I really enjoyed them and it is keeping my “head in the game”!

I am VERY much enjoying this time of not working and thinking “what do I want to do” if the normal work does not come back. While it is a strain on the budget, I’ve done all of my “what ifs” so have remained (mostly … I AM human :) ) focused on several new work ideas.

Without going into specifics, I started down a path of … I don’t think I want to pursue the same type of programming. This is mostly because I don’t think, that at my age of nearly 64, I would be comfortable as part of a new team, i.e. do I want to work with a group of young hot shots?? … ummm, probably not. Generalization, pre-judging probably … still, it’s a funny mix of experience (coding plus business operations) that makes me loath to try to do what I’ve been doing with a new group.

So, then I started thinking about non-programming things I like and could do. Many of those would require me to conform to a schedule and/or be gone from the house … If I need to, yes I will, but in thinking about some of those options and then with the little tasks of the past 2 weeks, I came back to what I would really like (prefer) is some sort of programming/computer work that allows me a certain amount of flexibility.

So, full circle. But not a new group.

But, in the last 2-3 weeks it occurred to me how much fun and joy there was in thinking these things through and really knowing what I’d like my days to look like. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have had this opportunity to explore my options. In the day to day work of the past years, I *thought*, I’d thought about things, but the reality was that as the work was paying the bills and I enjoyed it and my work group … I did not think about things as I have now that I might need to actually change … adapt…

Change!!

As noted in the previous post, I continue with my list of house (RV) and property chores, ideas for income … including meeting with some local folks as well as some online research.

I’ve stepped up off leash training with Emmett and he is doing VERY well! It is so much fun to be out with him and Auggie and just doing bits of stuff in the yard. I only need to yell “Sprinkler!” to get Emmett running for the well head pump handle which he KNOWS I need to pull to start the fun.

To date (I hate to even write this and alert the weather gods…), we are having a very pleasant summer … I know … you did not expect me to put pleasant and summer in the same sentence!! I keep waiting for the “heat” as last winter did not arrive until late January and now it is late July so …

Thursday is August 1 and the start of BIRTHDAY MONTH. Whatever the next days bring, heat, work, no work … we are ready.

Five weeks: full circle … Happy Days!

Any long time reader of this blog knows that I am NOT a fan of July and early August… 4th of July stupidity of fireworks, followed by heat and wildfire and local influx of visitors (good for economy, kind of a pain for me :) but I bow to sharing the beauty of this area!)

The 4th stuff is not too bad with Emmett and Auggie as I worked with both to teach not to be concerned. Whether my teaching or their personalities … they are good. I am horrified that I did so badly with Karl on this. Karl was not good with loud/surprise noises from a little pup and I did not know then how to help him. So the 4th brings up that guilt and sorrow as well as concern for combat veterans who suffer with the sounds and sights of war that many equate with “patriotism” … this makes me livid!

But. Almighty $$. Etc.

Onward.

I am now on hiatus from work. As of the last post, things have improved from being “we won’t know for 3 months” about next contract to “we’ll know in 30 days”. 30 days … piffle compared to 3 months :)

But, I had thoughts and contingency plans/ideas and what ifs. Per the last post, I was confident (97% of the time!) that something would work to keep my house and stay guardian of the woods. It feels even better at the moment and while I am still thinking and kind of planning, I am mostly enjoying a month “off”.

I have a list(s): things to do, things to bake, things to cook, books to read, videos to watch, training/teaching things with Emmett.

I am not sure one month will be enough. I think I could do retired. But I also love the programming work so I really do hope that continues.

Meanwhile:

I have been exploring heirloom flours: Spelt and Einkorn I really LOVE and this bagel – YUM

Einkorn … what a great grain:

I also made Rye Chocolate Chip Cookies topped with flaked salt. They are on my Instagram along with a link to the recipe. Fortunately, the dough freezes wonderfully and I baked 4 to start and will exercise some willpower on baking the rest 2 at a time!

My list of things to do included some yard work and one of the fun projects was some new pretty things for the front porch:

The succulents on the shelf have been doing well, so I bought more as well as some ground cover plants and am experimenting with how those do by the front porch with the idea that I might do some planting all along the porch.

So, every morning after walks and breakfasts and a bit of sitting and enjoying my last cup of coffee … I select some things from my list: one outside chore to do before it gets hot, one inside chore or task**, and one idea for income to explore or think about.

**one task is a blog update that involves some underlying infrastructure WordPress changes and might result in the blog being down for a bit.

The ideas for income … I’m trying not to think $$$ so much as what would I like to do and then … is there a way that might generate income. I have a number of things rolling around in various stages of thinking about and researching. Even if the work contract resolves and I continue with that, I hope to keep working on the other ideas.

So, my days are full, despite it being my least favorite time of the year, I am enjoying as much time as possible outside with Emmett and Auggie and continuing on training and teaching with Emmett although hopefully he sees all of that as play since we have fun! I keep the training energetic, intersperse it with a game and stop when we get hot and tired!

On with July!

There is a book by Alan Watts with the title “The wisdom of insecurity”. I read it … well slogged through it … about 12 years ago. I was 1 year into owning my current home. Some property maintenance was costing more than I’d anticipated and I had to make a decision whether to do the work or “play it safe”. I did the work. At the time, I felt strongly that I had been able to acquire this property for a reason … and that part of that was that I needed to properly care for it … the woods.

I have been an independent computer programming consultant, self-employed for nearly 34 years. In all of that time, there has been no guarantee from day to day that I would have work or income the next day. That seems unusual, but if you REALLY think about it, it is not. Anyone, real job or not, can be without work in the blink of an eye. We tend to think that “jobs” have some security. The reality is that they do not. Ask the employees of Jamie Oliver’s restaurants!

Another truth: none of us … NONE of us is guaranteed to see the next sunrise. A freak accident, being in the wrong place at the wrong time … just because we do not have a life threatening disease does NOT guarantee any of us a tomorrow. So. I REALLY believe in the wisdom of insecurity! I believe that we need to step back from a position of feeling in control and accept that insecurity is THE name of the game!

Despite the real insecurity of life, most plan for the future. While I typically operate on the “I’ll be here tomorrow” agenda, I am not a great planner. I am more of a “go with the flow” person. BUT, I do budget by cash flow. Since my “employment” future is of the variable nature, I plan so as not to live “paycheck to paycheck” and to be able to absorb some fluctuation in income.

AND, since my “contract” is renewed yearly and that process is never certain AND end of June is the renewal time … AND this year I was apprised that the uncertainty level was VERY high… I started thinking about options.

GASP! I went into a kind of planning mode: what will I do if …

It was a crazy place to be. I went so far as to contact a realtor for a “current market analysis” per the postcards I’d been receiving… in case I needed to sell up and “retire”. Good news/bad news. The “CMA” was produced in what I consider an historical accountant’s view, i.e. it was NOT a CURRENT market analysis, it was an analysis based on history and that history was 2 plus years old. Still, it threw me for a loop.

But, I regrouped and challenged the premise … NOT the final number, the premise.

AND, I changed my perspective back to my normally optimistic state of mind which is: I have always, ALWAYS had what I need. That is NEED, not want :)

In mid-April, before I’d been advised that my work situation was iffy, I bought a ring called “Little Hoot”. It is a Barred Owl. As I noted on my Instagram, I love owls and have seen and regularly hear Barred Owls. Additionally, the symbolism of owls (to me) is wisdom.

Before I’d received the ring, I heard the work news.

So. Wisdom potentially needed.

In a way, I panicked. I so hate admitting that, but in hindsight, it is the truth. On the other hand, one of the ways that I deal with insecurity and/or risky decisions is to go the place of “what if the worst happens, what will I do”. And dealing with that frees me from most of the fear and allows me to focus on positive, “normal” living: HOO RAH!!

AND THEN!!!

And then, having reached a calmer state, walking with Emmett and Auggie … mid-morning, i.e. full light … I heard a Barred Owl! Mid morning. I was completely taken aback but after my initial surprise, my first thought was: that means that I am to stay here and continue to take care of this woods.

Call me crazy, but that is what I believe. And so, I stepped forward … like Indiana Jones stepped out in faith on the unseen bridge. (Google “Indiana Jones Step of Faith”)

This past week, I received a “Monks of New Skete” monthly newsletter. One of the articles is titled “Spiritual Rest”. The gist is that sometimes we find ourselves in a “frantic state”.

Frantically wanting something, frantically trying to keep something, frantically avoiding something, frantically seeking God to intervene in my wanting, trying, avoiding. All this frantic emotion manifests itself in physical discomfort and pain, adding further to the frantic state.

Matthew 6:25-34 comes to mind…

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Right, then.

I trust in God, in myself, in my knowledge and experience and as so much of my life has rolled out in unexpected, but delightful, joy … Onward!

On this Memorial Day, a day when we (in the U.S.) remember those who paid with their lives to give us freedom, I would be less than respectful of that sacrifice if I gave in to fear for my own future.

Those snowshoes.  Those snowshoes are NOT “technical back country snowshoes”.  They are “tromp around my woods and onto the state land” kind of snowshoes, i.e. not too far from my house and mostly about making some paths for Emmett, Auggie and me.  They were inexpensive and purchased for the easy in and out bindings since I typically have them on and off for 20-40 minute outings several times per day when the snow is good.

I use the big ‘shoes for the first pass and/or deep, soft snow.  The large size displaces my weight on deep snow.  The smaller snowshoes are for hard pack snow or paths.  They do not float my weight on deep, soft snow.

So.

Early March. (this all happened over a month ago … so as you read this, know that all ended well :) )

I had a network of packed paths in my own woods for Emmett’s and my usual walks.  I had ventured on the state land in the larger shoes, without Emmett.  The snow on the state land and some parts off my own paths was knee to hip deep … fairly soft in some spots.

I’ve been working with Emmett on a 25 foot long line (lead).  Emmett does not run forever, but when he spots deer, he does give chase.  In 3 directions, within 200 yards are: road, neighbor, neighbor.  In the 4^th  direction is ¼ mile of state land.

I had been using a training technique called Premark.  The idea is similar to “if you eat your veg, you get dessert”.  With Emmett, that translated to:  “if you stop when I say, sometimes you get to chase”.

I was allowing a chase when the deer were on the state land and in a direction away from neighbors and road.  It worked a number of times.

BUT.

One evening, after some very nice “Leave it” before the end of the long line … and then a reward of “go get ‘em” for deer on the state land … Emmett took off and I lost sight of him in a copse of trees.  And nothing.  Typically, in a minute or so, he would be returning.

Emmett wears a GPS tracking device.  I can his view his (and my) position on my iPhone.  As I viewed the tracking, it became obvious that he was tangled around something.

My mistake #1.  I had been releasing him WITH the long line.  In the past and on our walks, it had not tangled.

I was in boots on our packed path.  I headed back to the house and got my large snowshoes to go out in the deep snow.

My mistake #2.  I did NOT get my backpack that has first aid kit, space blanket and water.

I thought I knew right where Emmett was tangled, but when I got to that point, he was not there AND I could not find his tracks.

My mistake #3.  Minor panic.  It was 5:30 p.m. with sunset at 6:30 p.m. and I allowed that to influence my trust in the GPS info.  Add to that, there are some areas in the vicinity of the state land that have a steep incline.  I worried that if Emmett had chased deer down the incline … did I have the physical ability to negotiate that incline and also, if he was in that area, I needed to find out before dark.

My mistake #4.  Theorizing ahead of the facts!  I trudged around.  I checked the GPS but did not actually “believe”.

I did call a neighbor to let someone know where I was and what was going on.  And my neighbor did a quick check at my house in case the GPS was completely wrong and Emmett had returned.  But, no.

Sun set.  Dusk, then dark.  It was 25F so not really cold especially with the amount of activity.  I was overheated and had no water.  I ate snow. 

Finally, as I was nearing the end of my physical ability to keep going … I said.  Ok.  LOOK at the GPS.  It has reference to my house, to me, to Emmett.

I was also on my knees in prayer.  I knew that I could NOT leave Emmett out overnight with no way to maneuver and protect himself. 

I forced myself to calmness and trust.  I looked at the GPS, oriented myself and then walked right to Emmett.

Emmett was not fussed at all.  He was all happy to see me, but not panicked in any way.  I untangled him, took a few deep breaths and we proceeded toward home.

As it had progressed from evening to dusk to dark, in addition to the GPS, I relied on a neighbor’s outside lights for some orientation.

Additionally, I have some smart plugs (Amazon-Alexa) and was able to flick my own house lights on and off, from my phone, for some reference.

As Emmett and I headed for home, I turned on my house lights and we honed in on them.  Emmett thought the whole thing great fun and I struggled a bit with him, the long line, snowshoes and the ski poles I was using.

8:10 p.m. we arrived at the house safe and sound!

I fed Emmett and Auggie, took a shower and went to bed.

Good grief!  Ultimately, if I had trusted the GPS from the start, the ordeal would NOT have been an ordeal.

Also – **** NEVER, NEVER, NEVER go out without WATER, a bit of food, and other E-items.  I know better and things could have ended so badly.

I am grateful beyond words that I found Emmett and all ended well.  I hope-hope-hope to never make so many mistakes ever again. 

Amen!

And kind of a P.S. … the snow has melted on the state land and we’ve been walking out there:  Auggie, Emmett and me.  The landscape without snow is pretty incredible.  The amount of downfall that was under snow is astonishing to me.  It is a bit difficult to tell from the photos, but there are many large trees, piles of branches and other obstacles.  None caused me difficulty, even in the dark!  Although dark with snow on the ground is quite different than dark with bare ground.

And the incline.  I tried to get some photos, but again, it is difficult to see how really steep the edge of the state land is … the edge that caused me the worst angst.

So.

March. Meteorological Spring. Did anyone tell Mother Nature?

This morning, March 3, started at -14F.

Right.

Still, we had an unusually mild and snow free early Winter. REAL Winter did not arrive until nearly the end of January. But then it came and it has stayed.

HOO-RAH! Not only did we get a good amount of snow but it has stayed mostly below freezing so the snow we got is in great condition. The thaw thing that often happens leads to treacherous walking conditions. We have had some “bad driving days” mostly due to wind and blowing snow.

At my house, there is currently 2 feet of settled snow. I haven’t made my usual “duck, duck goose paths” as Emmett is capable of negotiating the deep stuff and LOVES it. We walk along the game trails so do have some trodden paths which I’ve widened and compacted via snowshoeing. I shovel the walk to the garage, a path to the firewood, a path around the house. The driveway and turnaround I’ve been able to clear with the snow thrower plus 1 plow hire and 1 neighbor help of the end of driveway/country plow detritus clearing.

There was a 10 day time frame with enough snow nearly every day that required something and I WILL admit to getting tired of that almost daily routine. Caveat … the snow clearing PLUS the Emmett walking/playing in deep snow is almost over the top for me :) …. but FUN!! ***work might have suffered a little …

Emmett was 1 year old on February 12: officially a dog! Unofficially, there is still a lot of puppy in his sweet self :)

As noted in many previous posts, my Instagram (see feed at right) tells our daily story … and the Instagram Story feature includes a lot of minutiae. I LOVE the Instagram Story ability, but if you want access, you do need to have an Instagram Account: your account can be private and you need never post 1 thing, but you do need to have an account and then follow me to see the stories. That’s where we will mostly be.