Several weeks ago, subsequent to a visit to the local vet ER, Karl was given an “all clear” by our regular vet, although as a precaution they sent info to a consulting specialist. That specialist raised some points. Another test (non-invasive) gave us a diagnosis that was not as dire as the initial thought but not benign either. The resulting therapy was a canine version of Alleve vs the canine version of Aspirin we were on. In the background a long course of anti-biotics was on going.

While not the best news, it was not the worst either and we negotiated the medication changeover. The prognosis was a year or more of good quality with the thought that we caught things early based on how quickly Karl responded to the original medication. Karl is 9 1/2. A year or 2 of good quality takes him into the normal life span for a dog of his size. Which doesn’t really matter as it does not matter how long you get with a beloved pet, it is never long enough… And time frames – guesses!…the future is waiting to happen, it is not now.

Last week, things got worse. My hope is that it is medication related. I stopped everything. He seems to be doing a little better. Karl is resting comfortably, on occasion seems like himself, but often just very low energy. He stays close to me. He is eating well and getting out in the woods as necessary. We take walks – shorter, but our usual locations. He gets his toys to play.

I concentrate on enjoying. I don’t want to go to that place of grief before there is something to grieve about but there is that sense of loss of what was. And there is the fear and dread that comes with anticipation of decisions I may need to make. Even as I write that sentence, I chastise myself a bit as I don’t have to make decisions today and today is where I need to stay.

When I brought Karl home as a 7 week old puppy, after the death of my dog Zack from lymphoma, I knew, even then that it was likely that at some point I would face the passing and loss of Karl as well. It is part of having pets as part of our lives…their normal life span vs ours – and the natural order of things in the Universe. It is one thing to know this intellectually, to believe in eternal life, earthly cycles and the goodness of our God and Creator and another entirely to live with the prospect of loss potentially close at hand.

I hope that in the next day or so I can post that it WAS the medication and that Karl is himself.

I know that you love Karl from reading and seeing him through my words and photos. I know from past disclosures that you care for me as well. Prayers are powerful and I experience every day the support and love that comes from others praying for us. Thank you for all of your past and future prayers.

To allow either the diagnosis or the disease to rob either Karl or I of however many walks and moments together we have left would give those things a power that they do not deserve. I needed to write this post to take away power I was giving away by not writing it – to clear my mind of worry and fear and enjoy each day for what it is. Our days will continue as close to normal as we are able – enjoying the beauty of all of the good in each day. And that beauty and goodness will be shared here – our lives and the landscape: the land, the animals and the flowers.

I invite you to take a look at the post: To be good and happy today – link on the right in the Favorite Post section. That will be my focus and what I think we are called to be.

In His Love and Peace always,
Ann, Karl and Bob

From Sunday morning: Bob lay down close to where Karl left a treat. Karl stashes treats for later snacking – he also plays with them – where they are imaginary critters to be dispatched it appears. He “killed” the treat and then decided he’d better eat it before Bob did….